Yesterday was Sunday

Yesterday was Sunday and lately Sundays are tricky for me.

I am not sure why, maybe because it’s the only day that I really

allow myself to slow down or relax and let the day just unfold,

or maybe it’s that I have spent two days with the people

I love most in the world, where we aren’t in the throws of our busy

lives, whatever it is… it’s tricky.

Tricky because for the last few months, I cry.  It doesn’t matter

If the tears are a little sad or really happy, without fail,

I seem to get half way down the bread and coffee aisle

at the grocery store and I start to cry.

Yesterday, it was right in front of honey and jam…

A conversation I had just had entered my brain

and there they were and I couldn’t stop them.

They were good tears, but tears never look like good tears and usually I just abandon my cart, head to the car and cry it out.

The problem with that is, when I do that, I try wrapping my brain around

the tears and end up a mess.

Today, I just froze, tried to stop them and then surrendered.

They dried up and I continued with my chore

(I hate grocery shopping, so it is a chore.)

When this first began, I would avoid going out so I wouldn’t see people.

I couldn’t trust myself, I couldn’t trust my emotions. Was it my mom dying? No, it began before that.  Was it that I am leaving the town where I have lived for the last 10 years soon?

No, because, well, just because and we’ll leave it at that.

As I stood in front of the honey yesterday, I realized it was change!

I absolutely love change, but the last few years I have had sooo much change that I really believe the tears are a release and that is all.

So yesterday, I cried and carried on and then came home sat in front of things that mean something to me, flowers from my garden, a beautiful crystal weight, a vintage tin nicho, my favorite beads, my candle and favorite matches.

Sometimes, when life is “rollercoaster ish” we can settle into what is familiar and for me, those are little tender things. I wanted to share them with you.

Let yourself cry, if you need to cry, it is cathartic. Have a great week!

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